I'm slightly less emotionally stupid after this year. I know myself a little better, I know how to express myself with a wee bit more empathy and consideration (I'm a work in progress). I discovered, appreciated, and learned to love the fact that I'm an emotionally intense guy, and I realized that coping with my emotions can lead me to want to compromise my values (something to be careful about in the future).
I've decided that love, joy and hope are the emotions that I developed the most this year. Here is a snapshot of what I did, learned and felt this year around each:
Love
I loved, was loved, and learned some things that I thought expressed love but don't necessariliy (like sharing secrets). I learned about the inextricable link between love and pain, and how easy it is for loving people to hurt and disappoint one another. I learned that love defies analysis, is scary, and is magnificent. I learned that I have a lot of love in my life, even though I sometimes it doesn't look like I think it should. I learned to love and let go.
Joy
Whee! I jumped, traveled, sang, cuddled, danced, spoke Spanish, held hands, skiied, played softball, appreciated, listened, partied in the streets, moved to a wonderful city, kissed, met some amazingly diverse and cool people, and victoriously confronted my grievances with the world. I took a job with a great company and mingled with powerful and influential people. I worked on projects that I enjoyed which supported goals that are important to me. I made some personal decisions that helped me better define what I believe and who I support. I meshed my interests, my passions, and my vision for the world. I was reminded that serving others is the greatest joy. Also, my kitties are pure joy.
Hope
Hope and I go back to my childhood, when it manifested itself as prayer. I'm an advocate for the power of positivity, and with much of what I do I assume it will work out for the best, even when it might not look like I want. I hoped that Barack Obama would become President and hope that he will bring about a more tolerant and accepting culture to America. I hoped that I would have deeper, more meaningful relationships, and hope that ultimately of my friendships turn into a lifelong commitment. I hoped that my choices would lead me to have a meaningful job that helps others, and hope that that continues. I hope that everything I do and say sets a positive and empowering example for others.
In 2009, I'm looking forward to sharing more of my love, joy and hope with others. I have plenty to go around. In particular, I am committed to leading with the good side of my heart and not calculating what I say and do in order to get what I want.
